Energy

Last time, I wrote that I had to find a way to make it last Sunday's community class at Sumits.

I did get to class. It was amazing.

Not for the class I had. It was amazing for the positive energy in that room.

The community class is held each Sunday at 4 PM. Five dollars, cash only, for those who do not currently have a package. The Facebook post from the studio said to get there early because of the potential for a full room, and they were not kidding. Class started at 4 so I arrived at 3:25 to make sure I could get in. As I pulled in to the lot parking was already a concern. The studio is in a small strip mall with an AT&T store on one side of the studio and a pizzeria (yes, a pizzeria -- talk about temptation!) on the other. I found a spot to park and, as if on cue, about nine other yogis/yoginis popped out of their vehicles. I grabbed my gear and headed for the door. The line was out the door! -- talk about the power of yoga! I paid and made my way into the room. Staff members were helping to find spots for everyone and remind them of proper etiquette (no shoes in the room, please...). The front row was full and the second row was almost full, so I dropped my mat in the back corner under one of the heaters (yay!). Men and women of all ages, sizes, and backgrounds were there. The room continued to fill, with the staff gently asking people to slide one way or the other. The sign on the door quotes a maximum occupancy of 63, and while there weren't that many people in there, I don't believe you could have squeezed another soul in there. I think they cut it off at around 40 or so. and by the time class began I was right up against the mirror on the side of the room. The instructor entered the room and off we went. I don't know where it came from, but I was smiling to myself as we started warm-up.

The room was HOT! I was sweating before we even started, which I loved. The instructor was really keeping tabs on the heat and humidity, so the conditions were never debilitating. It has been more than a month since I practiced, so I expected nothing. As class progressed, I was having difficulty remembering what to do and how to do it, but I didn't really care. My thoughts kept going to the energy, the vibe, the positive feelings in that room. It didn't matter that I was having problems with being strong enough or flexible enough or breathing correctly -- I was actually keeping my focus and having a great, fun class! The last part of the standing series was really hard, and I was very glad to hit the floor. Still, I could feel the energy of the room helping me to press on through the rest of class. Even as class ended, and there was a mad dash to the door, I lay still until the room became quiet again, soaking in that positive flow for as long as I could.

We hear the word energy used every time we step in a yoga room -- no matter what type we practice. We are encouraged to contribute our energy to the room, to our practice, even to the Universe. There are classes when the energy in the room is so-so, or even non-existent. There are classes when the energy in the room is decidedly negative -- sometimes even close to malevolent. We are taught to recognize and fight through this. Then, there are classes where you just float happily through the practice. Last Sunday was one of those. The surprise for me was just how intense that positivity was -- and how much it did help.

I will be back this Sunday. Hopefully, the good vibes will continue.

                     **************************************************
Help: I broke down and got a smartphone a couple of weeks ago. Does anyone know of any good apps about yoga or meditation? Let me know.

Namaste.

The Dark Side is winning...

About a year and a half ago, I wrote the following post. It is written from the point of view of the "Dark Side" of my brain, telling me to give up this "yoga thing"...

                       ******************************************

Hey.

Hey, Mark.

It's me... you know, the guy you were before you started this insanity.

The guy who loved nothing better than pounding cheeseburgers and pizza, and washing them down with liters and liters of Dr. Pepper or Coke. The guy who would inhale potato chips or cheese curls while sitting for hours in front of your gaming console, stopping only to go out and enjoy a fine cigarette. Or two.

You do remember me, don't you? The guy who would toss back a couple of beers (or more), plus a couple of shots (or more)? The guy who thought that runners were weird (I mean, really, you run and run and run, and you're not really going anywhere, you're just tiring yourself out). The guy who never understood how someone could work out in a gym for two hours, or swim three miles, or hit a silly punching bag. 

And God forbid you try anything like yoga. Those yoga people are true freaks -- tree-hugging, soy-eating, tattooed freaks who bend their bodies in unfathomable ways. Just looking at them made you feel uncomfortable!

So, what happened, buddy? Where have you gone? Off the deep end?

Ok, I can understand. It was new, it was different. It has also been a pain in the ass!! I mean, those classes are really hard! It's so friggin' hot in there!! Not only that, you did something called a challenge: 52 classes in 60 days! I thought that was ridiculous in itself, but then you did it AGAIN!! Insane!! I was so glad when you had to stop going for that six months -- I thought sanity had prevailed. Imagine my horror, then, when the studio called looking for work-study people. You never gave me a chance to put in my two cents, you just hauled off and went right on back without any chance for me to shout you down. So, once again, I am put through this hell two, three, sometimes five times in a week!!

And for what?

You make me drink so much water or Gatorade -- I want a soda!

You make me eat vegetables and, God forbid, fruit! At least you don't eat a lot of that yet.

You drag me into that oven, bend me, stretch me, and make me sweat and sweat and sweat.

You force me to breathe that hot, humid, nasty air.

WHY???

It doesn't have to be this way. Let's be reasonable about this.

You don't really have to do this anymore.

I know you lost 45 pounds, and you are a bit more flexible and all that.

I don't care.

Let's go back to the way it used to be. No more of this foolishness. 

No more spending all day trying to get three or four liters of water down your throat.

No more eating better.

No more sacrificing two hours of your day for this madness.

Let's go get that ice cold Coke. And a couple of burgers.

Let's not worry about how you will fit in three classes this week. Let's watch TV or play games.

You can do it. I know you can. I've been watching.

I've seen you give in from time to time. Fast-food breakfast here. Candy bar there.

And yes, I've seen you have a smoke from time to time. It's once a week, for now, isn't it?

I've watched you crumble in that room, too. Laying out for long stretches of class, or leaving the room altogether -- what's wrong Mark? Can't take it anymore, buddy? I notice that once the postures start, you're having a really hard time looking in the mirror at your own two eyes, or your knee, or anything else. You stare at the floor (or the ceiling when you're on your back, which is happening more and more often). Your muscles scream and your body feels limp (that's my doing -- it seems to be the only way I can get your attention).  You have trouble hearing the instructor because I am there, whispering to you, "It doesn't have to be this way. You don't have to do this to us.... Let's quit."

So, come on! Let's get that pack of smokes, a giant pizza, and a 12-pack of soda. Let's fire up the Playstation, or watch the ballgame. Let's not have anymore of this lunacy.

No one needs to know.

It will be our little secret.....

Take your time. I'll be here.

 

                     ********************************************************************************

 

He is winning.

As much as I think about yoga, I have not been able to get back in on a regular basis. 

Part of me is happy -- the part that cannot stop eating junk and smoking. I have gained back nearly half of the weight I lost.

Part of me longs for that hot room -- so I can try to heal myself.

 

On Sunday, there is a community class at Sumits -- $5 for anyone who wants to come in.

 

I must get myself there. 

 

 

"The moment you're ready to quit is usually the moment right before the miracle happens."

-- Unknown

 

 

So, it MUST be right around the corner, right?

 

Namaste.

 

   

 

Something to ponder...

                                                                             --Photo via Bikram Yoga North Texas

So, what is stopping me?

Happy New Year!!
Namaste.

  

The Holiday Post -- 2012

This is recycled from last year -- with a few changes...

I know. The holidays are here. Rushing here and there. Looking for just the right gift. Planning the big meal.

Lights and tinsel and food, oh my!

Before all that, however, let's slow down. Take a breath.

It's not about mass consumerism and delayed flights and, "Just one more slice of pie..."

Give me a moment. It won't take very long.


1) If you are traveling, I hope your trip goes well and you get there and back safe and sound.

2) If you are in the military (of any nation) and the holidays find you far away, know that we are truly thankful for the sacrifices you make every day of the year.. Godspeed and I hope you are with your loved ones very soon.

3) When you are with your loved ones, hug them. Hug them again.  Hug them harder. You just never know when (or IF)  you'll get that chance again.

3a) If there are children at your gathering, hold them, hug them, laugh and play a silly game with them. Watch the sparkle in their eyes. Let go. Be a kid again. The cold, hard world will still be there tomorrow.

4) If you are at odds with someone, extend the olive branch. Call. Write. E-mail. Send smoke signals. Try anything. Try everything. Try to make peace. Just try.

5) Never Forget: There are a great many people in need. Give what you can. The Red Cross, The Salvation Army, your local homeless shelter, women's shelter, your local food bank... all would appreciate whatever you can give. Food, clothing, cash, doesn't matter. It all goes to improve someone's life (and therefore the world) just a little bit.

6) Never Forget II: Our four legged friends need a hand, too. The local Humane Society or SPCA can always use food or bedding for their charges...


7) Eat, drink, and be merry!!! If you choose to enjoy a drink, don't drive. Please.

8) Laugh out loud. Do a silly dance. Let someone know just exactly how special they are to you.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to one and all!!!

The Sumits Experiment -- Conclusion

As I feared, I was only able to get to class twice in the last week of my intro package at Sumits. On top of that, I had to do a double just to accomplish that. Last Wednesday, I went to the 5:30AM class and found that my body was VERY stiff and inflexible. Just moving into and out of up/down dogs was torture. I got through the class, and by the end of it I felt pretty good. Since I had the day off from work, I decided that a second class was possible. After cleaning house, running errands and making sure I was sufficiently hydrated, I got back to the studio for the 4PM class.

What a difference. I breezed through warm up and the standing series. I felt like I used to feel when I was practicing regularly at Bikram. The flow part of class wasn't that bad either. Even allowed myself a little smile as we transitioned to the floor. From there it became more difficult, but I still had a much easier time. I could literally feel my hips open more, my breathing was more in tune, and I was much more focused throughout the second class. When I got home I was very sore, but it was that good, honest, "I really accomplished something today" kind of sore. Over the next couple of days, my hips and back felt so much better!

What did I learn?

I learned that I could actually perform this type of yoga. It is, in my opinion, just as strenuous (if not more) as a Bikram class. It may be10 minutes shorter, but I think you do more in a Sumits class. In Bikram, you are asked to do 26 postures to your maximum with a (brief) rest period between each. In Sumits, you stack postures one on top of the other, which keeps your heart and lungs working harder for longer periods. The third flow set only lasts 3 1/2 minutes, but it is the most difficult and I am gassed when it is completed -- if I can get through it without stopping. Each type tests you in their own special ways.

Other differences?

In Bikram the postures are the same every day. In Sumits the postures and flows are the same every day, until you get close to the end. When you get Head to Knee with Stretching, there can be variations. For example, you do the basic pose starting with the right leg and then the left, then stretch both legs out, grab your big toes and pull. After that, the instructor might call for a butterfly -- legs folded, elbows to knees while continuing to grab the toes and pull. Then, you may be asked to go into a half-lotus and pull, then another half-lotus for the opposite leg. The other big difference comes after moving to the floor, where it's time for crunches. Sometimes its 10 straight crunches, sometimes its 10 straight, then 10 obliques to the right and 10 to the left. Sometimes, its 15 each. Guess it depends on how the instructor feels. After the crunches come the "bicycles" -- legs in the air kicking with elbow to opposite knee. I know I need them, but they are my least favorite parts of the class. Then there is the temperature in the room. At Bikram, some instructors would turn off the ceiling fans and maybe crack the doors an inch at Savasana. At Sumits, the door gets opened at least three different times for 30-45 seconds, and the fans are always on. Seems like they have been told to try and keep the heat at exactly 105 degrees. The last big difference is that the instructors incessantly tell us to, "Have fun!! This isn't the end of the world. There is no competition. Do your best. Honor yourself. If you need to take a break, move to Savasana or Child's Pose and meet us back in Down Dog. HAVE FUN!!". They are just as knowledgeable and supportive as any Bikram instructor I've known but they seem a bit nicer.

So, I would call this "experiment" an unqualified success. In my opinion, if Bikram and Sumit were to join forces, they would be unstoppable. If I could open my dream studio, one would have access to both forms. If I could afford to do so, I would take classes at both studios -- Bikram one day, Sumits the next. I could work on each individual postures at Bikram, then incorporate it into the Sumits class the next day. It would be absolute bliss. Back here in the real world though, I am aiming to purchase a longer duration package at Sumits (after the holidays) while securing perhaps a 10 or 30 class card at Bikram  --  I can't forget my yoga "roots". Besides, as much fun as being at Sumits is, it just makes me miss Bikram that much more.


Namaste.

The Sumits Experiment -- Part 2

Two more Sumits classes under my belt this weekend. The recap:

Yesterday: Took class at noon. It has been unseasonably warm here with highs in the 80's... wondered what effect that would have. Room was hottest that I have experienced (found out that I was a little off on guessing the temperature; the room is kept at 105 degrees with 50%-60% humidity). Only five people in attendance, and an instructor I had yet to practice under. She was more of a "technician" than the first two instructors. She also has a more forceful delivery than the other two. Remember that last time I wrote that I hadn't encountered a "drill instructor" yet. I would not put her in that class, but she has come the closest.

With only five in the room, the instructor asked everyone to group to gather on the left (hottest) side of the room. She said that the energy would be better if everyone was close together. I was already there, in the back row (thankfully she didn't ask me to join the other four on the front row), right under one of the heaters.

She was right. I thought the energy in the room was really good. The "technician" part? Well, she spent a lot of time helping us with alignment -- especially in the Standing Postures. In Awkward, Eagle, Standing Head to Knee, and Standing Bow, she had us check every part of our alignment. It really helped me a lot. Still a long way to go on the "flow" parts but each day is a little better. My biggest problem is simply that all the flexibility I gained through Bikram has disappeared. That, and the crunches and ab work we do in class. Never was a fan but I know I need them.

Today: Attended the 10:00AM. Largest class yet for me -- 18 in class I think. Lots of energy in the room. Arrived a little late and was right back under the heater. I didn't mind, though. I think my body has gotten used to sweating again -- the last two days I have been soaked to the skin in sweat -- and it feels good. I got through the Standing Postures OK, but I fell apart on the floor: sat out Camel, Rabbit, Stretching, Butterfly, Half-Lotus, and Shoulder Stand/Plough. Got back in for Wind Removing/Spine Twist. Not great, but not bad. To be honest, I am simply happy just to have had a chance to practice for seven straight days. I have seven more days on the intro package, and going back to work will make attendance more difficult. I'm going to just take one day at a time and take it as a golden opportunity when I can get to the room.

I have already decided that after the holidays I am going to do all I can to get back in that room and stay for a while. I am really enjoying this. I want to get better at it.

Have a great week!!

Namaste.

The Sumits Experiment -- Part 1

As I wrote last time, I am spending this vacation by getting back into a hot room. I purchased a two week introductory package at Sumits Hot Yoga . Developed by Sumit Banerjee , this practice combines some Bikram poses with Ashtanga or Vinyasa flow. One of the guys I practiced with in my first class called it "Bikram on steroids".  I don't know about that, but I do know that I am enjoying the challenge of the practice.

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around all the "flow" parts of the class. I can tell you that in the class you will do Sun Salutations, Upward and Downward Dogs (a lot of those), planks, tabletops, side planks, just about every version of Warrior Pose (even more of those), Triangle (simplified), lunges, crunches, sit-ups, one inversion (which I am too weak to do yet) and maybe ten discernible Bikram poses -- but some of those have modifications (Triangle is slightly easier.)

The biggest difference is that it seems you are moving almost the entire 75-80 minutes. There is a "party time" early on, a 60 second Savasana at maybe 35 minutes, and a full two minute Savasana at perhaps 50 minutes, plus the final Savasana. You are moving almost all the time. In that respect, it is more challenging than a Bikram class where there are definite starts and stops. I am fighting to keep up but getting better with each class. Another big difference is that music is played during the flow segments, and it's not just instrumental. So far, I have heard John Lennon, Tears for Fears, Tom Petty, Run D.M.C., even Cameo (this morning). At first it bothered me because it distracted me and prevented me from hearing some of the instruction, but with each class it moves more into the background. Our instructor this morning told me that sooner or later, as I become more familiar, the instructions fade away and you simply move with the music.

Speaking of the instructors (I have only taken class with two of the staff), they are really great. The dialogue is the same each day, and they will assist you with a pose. There is no podium -- the instructor paces the back of the room calling out instructions and making sure everyone is practicing safely. I have yet to encounter a "drill instructor" type -- they continually tell us to have fun with the practice, to enjoy the challenge, and are always quick to answer questions. The studio is immaculate, and the heating system is state of the art. I don't know the exact temperature of the room -- I would guess it's 95 to 100 degrees -- but it is enough to where everyone is drenched by the end.

Since starting on Monday, I have improved each day in one area or another. I can keep up better with the flows, and I have been surprised by how well I can still do some of the Bikram poses -- especially Standing Bow, Cobra, and Floor Bow. Even my Camel is respectable. It is now Friday afternoon, and I have completed five classes. I feel MUCH better than I did on Monday. I am sore, and in this morning's class I did get a visit from the "yoga truck" but it still wasn't too bad. I will be back tomorrow and Sunday before heading back to work. Then, attending class will be more difficult.

Signing off for now. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask and I will try to get you an answer ASAP. All in all, it has been a really fun week!

I hope you can get into a hot room soon!!

Namaste.

The journey begins anew...

So! Five months plus since I wrote anything. Even longer since I actually attempted any form of yoga.

 That ends today.

It has been a long and sometimes difficult summer an early autumn. However, things have begun to improve -- so much so that, while I am on vacation this week, I am attempting a "yoga vacation"/ "boot camp".

It goes like this. At noon today I will visit Sumits Hot Yoga and sign up for the introductory special: two weeks for $20. Sumits bills itself as combining "traditional Bikram poses with Ashtanga-inspired flow". In addition, the class is set to music. This will be the yoga I practice most this week. I'm going in with an open mind and just very grateful that I finally have a chance to get back into any form of yoga. In addition, I want to visit Karmany Yoga, which is even closer to my house. Karmany has several different classes -- I really want to try a "slow flow" class in which extra time is taken to get into and out of the poses ( a real chance to learn ).

Finally, as part of this week of yoga, I will attempt to go back to my old stomping grounds at Bikram Fort Worth. I'm shooting for Friday to go there, using the week to ramp up to a full Bikram class (plus it will be my first time to take class there since the ownership change and renovation).

So, with just over three hours to go until this adventure begins, how do I feel?

Nervous. Funny, but up until last night I was sky-high. I've been really looking forward to this for the most part. Last night, though, I started to worry. Will I be able to do it? Will I be able to go each day? Will I still LIKE yoga?

I try to sweep those questions aside. I NEED to do this. My body hurts. Back spasms everyday. Knees aching every morning. More importantly, however, I just need to get somewhere quiet so I can try to silence my brain for just a little while. I need to regain the focus and peace I developed while practicing. I also need to get this gut under control!! It is embarrassing and I want it gone. Finally, I am hoping that while I am practicing this week, I can find a way to continue my practice beyond the next seven days. They say that if you ask the Universe for help, you will find a way. Hopefully I will see the opportunity when it pops up!

There you are. Starting back down the road. Trying once again to establish a regular practice. Trying to improve myself, strengthen myself, and learn more about myself. Just have to remember to breathe......

Back soon (promise).

Namaste.

Undone.

Ok.

I give up.

I know when I’m beaten.

I get it, already.

No Bikram since November.

One solitary Baptiste class since then.

Every time I think that I’ll be able to resume my practice, SOMETHING happens.

I can’t get all my ducks in a row.

I can’t get all the lights to turn green.

I have almost completely returned to the person I was before discovering yoga in general, and Bikram in particular.

I’m smoking. Half a pack some days. I went five months and one day without. Then, I picked them back up without batting an eye.

I eat junk. Burgers, doughnuts, chips, junk upon junk upon crap. While I’m not yet back to 285 lbs, I’m definitely getting closer. And closer.

I’m not drinking too much soda (yet), but I mainline coffee… with lots of French Vanilla creamer.

Sleep brings no rest, no dreams, no energy. The ringing alarm clock is both blessing and curse.

I find it difficult to concentrate on anything. I try to read an article or a book. I try to write. I used to think I really had something to give or share. Now, I just don’t know.

I kept telling myself that if I could just hang on, or if I just worked a little harder or longer, things would get better. I would find a way back to that place. I would walk back into that chamber and sweat and pull and stretch and BREATHE. I would feel alive and healthy again. I would work toward that goal of being the best possible me I could be.

Now?

I’m irritable. Upset. Angry. Everything is suffering: my body, my work, my relationships, my being. It’s as if I had never heard of yoga. There just doesn’t seem to be a way to get back in the room from here. For now, there are just too many obstacles to hurdle.

I was never really a yogi in training, was I? I was  just a “wannabe” yogi.

I walked into work the other day, realized the futility of it all, and began to cry. Not sniffle. Not weep. I cried. (Fortunately, since I get there earlier than most, no one saw me.)

It was just a passing fancy, this idea of me practicing yoga. A summer romance.  A one act play.

I had hopes for this week. I might, at least, get an introductory 10-class card at Indigo. It will not happen – save for a miracle of some sort. I tried to practice here at home, but it was laughable (plus I just can’t get a room that warm without causing a problem). I can’t see getting back to Bikram anytime soon either. I was always hopeful that this hiatus would be short and painless. Now, I don’t know when, if ever, I’ll get back.  To be honest, I'm beginning to think it will not happen.

Yoga still fascinates – and scares – me. I still read lots of blogs. I still believe in the power and beauty of yoga. My dream of going to training is still on my bucket list. I see and read about people who are changing their lives with the help of yoga -- and I want desperately to change mine.  I am was a (small) part of an ever growing online community of yogis trying to grow and share and make this planet just a little bit better.

I’m frustrated.

I’m tired.

I’m sick of writing about NOT practicing. 

I'm sick of being who I am.

I'm sick of having empty hopes for change.

I’ve come undone.

" Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say."

                                                 "Time" by Pink Floyd from Dark Side of the Moon

                                    

Peace.

REPOSTED: Yogis supporting yogis: McKinley's Training Campaign

-- Photo courtesy of ilovesweat.com.

Note: This is a re-post from Lisa at Just here. Just now.


 Did you know that someone can be really kind, generous and supportive to complete strangers via Twitter?

No? Then maybe you don’t know McKinley. That’s him, rocking out Standing Head to Knee in that glorious photo above.

(I’ll let you take a moment to stare in awe and appreciation.)

McKinley was a very early supporter of Just here. Just now. He was my first non-family Like on Facebook. He was my welcoming committee to the online yoga community.

McKinley wants to be a Bikram yoga teacher. Everyone wants McKinley to be a Bikram yoga teacher. Bikram should want McKinley to be a yoga teacher.

And he’s ready: he’s practiced everyday for 2 years – without a day off.

(I’ll let you take another moment of awe and appreciation for that piece of information.)

But there remains the pesky issue that training is hella pricey.

McKinley has started an online campaign to help fund teacher training. You can buy I LOVE SWEAT stickers, tank tops/t-shirts/hoodies hand screened by the yogi himself. Or you can make a straight up donation should you feel inclined.

Check out his video explaining his love for yoga and his website I Love Sweat to see his beautiful photographs, artwork and blog. Cazbaz also has a great interview with McKinley if you want to know a little more about the man behind that awesome Toe Stand.

Times are tough, so if you can’t donate, please re-tweet and re-post and let’s see if we can make this dream happen for one very deserving yogi.

Namaste.


Spread the word. Let's see if we can't help out a bit!!


Peace.

The Baptiste Experiment

Last week, while on vacation, I wanted to try some different types of yoga. With four different studios within 10 minutes of home, there was ample opportunity to try something new.

Or so I thought.

Let’s just say that what was supposed to be a calm, relaxing week turned into a hectic stretch of days. It wasn’t until Friday that I could even consider going to a class. Even then, at noon last Friday, I wasn’t sure I would go even if the chance arose.

It was then that I told myself, “You will not get a better chance. Don’t be afraid. Find a class. Go. Now.”

I’ve driven by Indigo Yoga countless times in the six years it has been open. It’s three minutes away from our current home, and is a “Baptiste Affiliate Studio.” – meaning they teach the style of yoga founded by Walt Baptiste in the 1940’s and carried on today by his son Baron. All I really knew about it was: a) it is practiced in a warm room (though not nearly as warm as the Torture Chamber), and b) it involves postures I’ve never attempted.

Lucky me!! An “all levels” class would start in one hour. Thankfully, I had been much better about hydrating all week – just in case I could actually attempt a class. I grabbed my mat, towel, and water and headed for the door when that voice in my brain stopped me:

“Yoga? Really? After all this time, you want to go try more yoga? I thought we had this all straightened out. You realize you will look really stupid. You won’t be able to do much of it anyway. Look at you. You’re weak and flabby and you will be so self-conscious in there. You don’t really need to do this… Stay home. “

I have wanted to get back into a yoga room – ANY room – for too long. I pushed the fear and worry aside, jumped in the car, and went to the class.

The “lobby” at Indigo is very small – more of an anteroom than a lobby. The lighting was subdued and incense filled the air. I signed the necessary form, paid, and headed into the room. The room itself was large – even larger than my home Bikram studio. I could easily see 70- 80 people fitting in there. Pastel shades of blue on the walls, ceiling painted black, black ceiling fans hanging down, music softly playing – very relaxing indeed. Curiously, one side of the room had the fans on, the other did not. I took up a spot on the back row near the center (where there were no fans) and laid down in Savasana, just grateful to be in a warm, if not hot, room. There were around a dozen students, including two other men. The instructor, Kelsey, entered and got us up and began the class.

Wow.

There was no Pranayama breathing to start. She just called everyone to Child’s pose and off we went. No stopping, No breaks between postures. No “party time”. It was, “Upward Dog”, then, “Down Dog”, then “High Plank, Low plank…” and on and on. I don’t mind saying I got lost pretty quickly. I hate to look around at other students but I had no choice because I didn’t know what was going on. My mind returned to that April night in 2009 when I took my first Bikram class – all flustered and bewildered and flushed with the heat. Thankfully, I started to catch on a bit and I really started to enjoy it. I got a good sweat going almost immediately. I did have to stop more than once because either I did not know what the posture was, or I was just beat.

Other thoughts?

1) My Breathe mat was completely inappropriate for the hard wood floor. Off I go to get a sticky mat. Thankfully, Kelsey grabbed one of the studio mats and set it up next to mine so I could work without slipping all over the place.

2) Not used to the instructor walking around during class so much. I was startled when she got behind me and lifted my hips up during the first Downward Dog. 

3) For this particular class, Kelsey returned to Utkatasana (Chair Pose) over and over. My legs quaked so badly. We must have done that pose four or five times. Then there was an addition to the pose where we would turn to one side or the other.

4) Instead of Trikanasana (Triangle), we did Warrior Poses 1,2, & 3. There were extra movements, which made it even more difficult.

5) Frog pose hurt. I didn’t even attempt a headstand or Crow pose. I heard the term “Chaturanga” a lot. Happily though, I surprised myself with a damn good Camel posture!!

6) I did enjoy the cool washcloth the instructor placed on my forehead in the lone Savasana.

7) “Wild Thing” looked ridiculously difficult.

8) I was really sore the next morning. REALLY SORE. And that is good!!

All in all, it was a heck of a ride. A lot of it is still a blur in my head. However, I do know one thing: I want to do that again!! Fortunately, they run an introductory special: 10 classes for $30. I’m signing up ASAP!! They also have a free class for the community every Saturday. Too bad I work most Saturdays.

Unfortunately, that was my only class of the week. I was going to take advantage of the $5 community class at Sumits on Sunday, but that was cancelled for a teaching workshop. Maybe next week. (Their intro special is similar: two weeks for $20 – don’t think I won’t try that one!!)

One other note: before I went on vacation I broke down and had a cigarette, five months and one day after my last one, then had another one four days later. The streak now stands at nine days. :(

Apologies if this post droned on, but I’m just really happy to be actually writing about my practice again! Thanks for listening.

Namaste.

It Really Happened!!

Yes!

It really happened.

I found myself in a hot room today. For the first time since November.

If all goes well, I will be in another hot room on Sunday.

Details to follow.

Namaste.

Guest Post: Get Real! 18 reasons I am a bad yogi

 Hello all! Today I bring you a post from Lisa at Just here, just now... from a few days ago. I think it is a great read! 

How many of these can you relate to? (For me, 15,12,7,and 2)


Hope you enjoy it.... and check out more of her fine work!    Namaste.


Let’s be honest, everyone lies on their blog.

O.K., that might be an exaggeration but only a slight one. Everyone leaves things out or pretties up the truth.
I realized something disconcerting the other day. My blog makes me out to be a pretty enlightened, kick-ass yogi.

So not true.

I am trying to be an enlightened, kick-ass yogi and that is why I write about the things I do. This blog has kind of become my version of those dorky manifestation boards. But between the back-bending and the advice (hey, she asked!) I am sort of strutting around here.

So, let me clear some things up and let you in on the ugly bits.

But first, here’s a photo of me falling down.

Failed photo-shoot. Falling out of standing bow…almost to my death.

18 Reasons I am a Bad Yogi

18.  There are a lot of yoga postures in which I look like a disoriented octopus, however, you will never see photos of those. I only post pictures of the postures that look pretty and I can do kind of well. You will never see a photo of my awkward pose.

17.  The yoga tops I like best are the ones that make my cleavage look good.

16.  Sometimes I wiggle my toes a little and pretend to have a cramp so that the teacher will give me a little foot massage during savasana.

15.  I have to set up my mat and towel on the other side of the room from a certain yogi at my studio because otherwise I spend my whole practice rolling my eyes.

14.  Sometimes the only reason I go to yoga is because I want to avoid explaining to people why I didn’t go to yoga.

13.  When I do yoga at home, I get bored in about 10 minutes and can’t think of any other postures to do. Then I sit on my yoga mat and watch TV for a half an hour so it feels like I did a decent amount of yoga.

12.  If my husband is traveling, sometimes I am too lazy to shower after class and I just go to bed all sweaty.

11.  For every 20 minutes of sitting meditation I do, I have spent the previous 10 minutes having a lively internal debate about whether or not I should meditate.

10.  I’m envious of the people who come to the studio looking all cute and put together. I come to class looking homeless because I’m just going to get those clothes all sweaty, anyway.

9.  Sometimes when I do Separate Leg Head to Knee pose I look up at the rolls on my belly and I think thoughts about my body that would not count as Loving Kindness.

8.  When I go to other types of yoga studios I don’t take my Bikram yoga branded water bottle and when they ask if I’ve done yoga before I say “I dabble.” I am tired of getting shit for doing Bikram and I’m also worried they will expect me to be really good if they know I have a regular practice.

7.  I think Rabbit pose is pointless. Probably because I have made zero progress on it in two and a half years.

6.  Sometimes, Husband and I will be planning to go to yoga together and at the last-minute he has to work late. I’ll sigh really loudly and then say, “it’s O.K., no, no, I’ll stay home and we can have dinner together.” I make it seem like it’s for him but I am secretly glad and it feels like I just got a snow day.

5.  I take a month off from my Bikram practice in the summer.

4.  I get jealous when Husband gets a complement or foot walk from a teacher and I don’t.

3.  I can’t do Dancer pose and don’t think I ever will even though I really, really want to.

2. I talk about going to teacher training but I worry I am just not strong enough and that my social anxiety will kick in with a vengeance and I will have to quit.

And finally, the number 1 reason I am a bad yogi –  because I wrote this entire post in my head during class and then ran out after a very short final savasana so I could write it down on one of the little cards intended for anonymous comments.

Forgive me, Patanjali, for I have sinned.

Anyone else want to confess anything and help me feel not so alone in this?