One step. then another...

Greetings! For those who observe Easter, I wish you a warm and happy one!

I am much recovered from the bronchitis described in the previous post. I have now gone 31 days without a cigarette. There have only been a few occasions where I wanted to smoke, but I brushed those feelings aside pretty quickly. Also, one of my co-workers is now attempting to quit. She has eschewed regular cigarettes for one of the electronic kinds that produce water vapor instead of smoke. She remarked that she feels better and that her clothes don't smell anymore. Excellent!

The new issue for me is food. I have been substituting food for nicotine and it feels like I am eating ALL THE TIME. I made a point to write down everything I ate for two days. I felt ill when I looked at it -- fast food, junk food, huge restaurant portions (plus all the free chips and salsa I could eat -- it was my favorite Mexican restaurant). Most of time I'm drinking coffee and precious little water. Listing my intake hasn't stopped me much, though -- so far today I have eaten two slices of  toast with butter, one slice of bread with butter (while waiting for the toast), two everything bagels (one with cream cheese), cookies and three four cups of coffee. No water, no juice, and not a crumb of anything healthy.

 Here is the goofy part: I went to the clinic today for a routine blood pressure and weight check. The last time I went was two days before going into the hospital. That day my BP was somewhat alarming: 154 / 94; and I weighed 253 lbs. (114.8 kg). Today, my BP was much better at 128 / 80, but the goofy part was that I had actually LOST four pounds -- I weigh 249 lbs. (112.9 kg). After all the crap I have consumed, how on Earth could I actually be lighter, if only slightly?

In any case, action must be taken. I have put together a three step plan to get myself to a more healthy place.

Step 1:  I have given myself three weeks to slow down and work on eating better. Why three weeks? Basically because Sweetie and I are going on vacation soon, and it's no fun trying to be "good" on your holiday. That said, I will attempt to at least drink 2 liters of water each day and eat decent meals without all the snacking that takes the place of smoking breaks.

Step 2: The first day back from vacation, I will begin a 14-day cleansing program. We did a seven-day cleanse last year with great results. The 14-day program is a bit more intricate but the dietary rules are the same: no red meat, no caffeine (that will hurt), no bread or pasta, no dairy or eggs (my cheese habit will suffer), no corn (?) or any processed fruits or vegetables, NOTHING artificial. As I said, I have done this before for seven days... I hope I don't go insane in the second half of this. I could stand only so much rice bran bread and puffed rice cereal with soymilk, and have you seen the price of organic/all natural nut butters or quinoa? Perhaps green juice is the answer? I have found some promising recipes online. In any event, I have already purchased the cleanse kit, so no turning back.

Step 3: This is the big one. Sweetie and I have talked at length about finding new careers. We are both less than happy with our current jobs, and I asked if she thought I would make a good yoga instructor. She said I would be fantastic. Then she asked a couple of our friends (one who practices and one who doesn't) and they both said that was a good thing to try. So, if I truly want to chase this dream I obviously must resume a regular practice. So, on May 1, I will be at a studio and taking class. Problem: I'm not sure which to choose. I love practicing Bikram but the cost of training is scary. It costs less to train for Sumits and while I very much enjoy his form of yoga, I seem to feel strongly that Bikram is where I need to be. Of course, attending Indigo and learn the Baptiste form would be interesting as well.

In any event, I have put together this timetable and I hope we can make this work. I may be broke before it's over but I'm going to get this done. Time is ticking and I'm tired of the person I am. I can be so much more, so much better.

I'll keep you posted. Questions, comments, or good wishes? Send them my way... I'm going to need a lot of good energy.

Namaste.

PS: Lunch will be two apples, 5 oz. Greek yogurt, and 1 liter of H2O.

 

REPOSTED: Yogis supporting yogis: McKinley's Training Campaign

-- Photo courtesy of ilovesweat.com.

Note: This is a re-post from Lisa at Just here. Just now.


 Did you know that someone can be really kind, generous and supportive to complete strangers via Twitter?

No? Then maybe you don’t know McKinley. That’s him, rocking out Standing Head to Knee in that glorious photo above.

(I’ll let you take a moment to stare in awe and appreciation.)

McKinley was a very early supporter of Just here. Just now. He was my first non-family Like on Facebook. He was my welcoming committee to the online yoga community.

McKinley wants to be a Bikram yoga teacher. Everyone wants McKinley to be a Bikram yoga teacher. Bikram should want McKinley to be a yoga teacher.

And he’s ready: he’s practiced everyday for 2 years – without a day off.

(I’ll let you take another moment of awe and appreciation for that piece of information.)

But there remains the pesky issue that training is hella pricey.

McKinley has started an online campaign to help fund teacher training. You can buy I LOVE SWEAT stickers, tank tops/t-shirts/hoodies hand screened by the yogi himself. Or you can make a straight up donation should you feel inclined.

Check out his video explaining his love for yoga and his website I Love Sweat to see his beautiful photographs, artwork and blog. Cazbaz also has a great interview with McKinley if you want to know a little more about the man behind that awesome Toe Stand.

Times are tough, so if you can’t donate, please re-tweet and re-post and let’s see if we can make this dream happen for one very deserving yogi.

Namaste.


Spread the word. Let's see if we can't help out a bit!!


Peace.

Losing touch....

A month since my last post. A little more than that since the studio was abruptly closed. I have since learned that the studio was actually sold to one of our newer instructors. She is currently renovating the studio -- or, finishing  the renovations that were started by the previous owners. She is keeping us posted via Facebook (photos included). Currently, the hope is that the studio will resume operations in early January, with a full Grand Opening in February. No word yet on whether we get to stay on work-study, but I am hopeful.

While the wait goes on, I have found myself slipping more and more into old habits. While I have had only four cigarettes in the last 12 days (Very Good), I am once again eating everything in sight. Doesn't matter whether or not I am actually hungry or not, I just eat. And eat. And eat. I bet I've gained almost 10 pounds. This with the holiday season nigh upon us. Worse, I wonder more and more about whether or not I really want to continue my practice.

Almost two weeks ago, I made the drive out to the studio in Arlington. I was happy to run into some of the regulars from Ft. Worth -- including one of our instructors. The Arlington studio is very nice indeed, as are the staff. They have been very helpful to those of us who have no home at the moment. Anyhow, the longer class went on, the more I felt like I didn't belong. Not just that I didn't belong in that room, but that I had no business being there, doing yoga, at all. The yoga felt very foreign to me -- not just because I was extremely stiff and had no sort of strength or balance. I felt really weird just being there trying to do the postures -- worse even than during my very first class. I was completely uncomfortable and unnerved. As I lay on the floor, sitting out most of the floor series, I kept asking myself, "Why did I even come here? I'm just kidding myself... I'm really not cut out for this stuff. I could easily stop practicing and few if any would notice my departure. Why not just give this up? Face it, I could do this for the rest of my days and I doubt that I will ever really improve. I mean, really, two years of this and I still can't do Triangle? I still sit out postures? Why bother? I tried, and I failed. Move on."

As I type tonight, I feel pretty much the same way.

 On a happier note, the latest Teacher Training concluded yesterday. I would like to say "Congratulations!!" to all who made it through, but especially to the following people who blogged about their adventure:

Kat -- A Sweaty Adventure

Tiffany -- The Hot Yoga Girl

Shavon -- bikram or bust

Alice Istanbul

Miss Copsey -- peace under pressure

Extra props to Ms. Istanbul -- in the midst of Training, she hopped a jet back to Florida to compete in the Southeast Regional Asana Championships -- and place FIRST in the Georgia Women's Division!!!

To all of you: it was really fun to follow your adventures. I wish all of you the best as you embark on your teaching careers.

Peace.

Just. Get. There.

I really don't have too much to report. Work is more difficult than normal. There seems to be so little time right now. My last class was on Sunday, and it actually wasn't that bad. Since then, I've had chances to go but I've had little to no motivation. It is unseasonably hot here (my computer says it is 102.... cold front finally due tonight) and I feel like it is going to be a tough class today. My gear is ready. I'm dressed. Class is 43 minutes from now and still I have no desire to go. At all. It's going to be rough. It's going to be hot. I haven't eaten well the last few days weeks, nor have I stayed properly hydrated.

Why do I do this?

My struggles make the idea of actually going through nine weeks of Teacher Training seem even more impossible. I'm keeping up with the goings on in LA through several different blogs (just check my list). Those people are only in the second week.... don't think I could make it through one! I have so much respect for anyone who undertakes such a challenge. (Challenge.... I can't even muster the interest in attempting any sort of challenge; whether it's 7 days, 10, 30, or 60.)

Well, it's time. Shutting it down and heading to the studio.

Just.     Get.      There.

Peace.

Good Luck!!!

Just a very quick note today. My schedule has been very hectic, and I have not had a chance to compose my thoughts. That said, I did want to say that the Fall session of Teacher Training begins Monday in Los Angeles. I wish ALL the trainees the best of luck with their journey. Especially my friends in the Bikram blogging world:

Kat @ A Sweaty Adventure

Tiffany @ The Hot Yoga Girl

Gamebred @ bikram or bust

Also, a special "Good Luck" to one of our own at BYFW: a fellow student and one of my work-study friends, Shannon. Hope I can be at his first class!!

Godspeed and Safe Travels to all!!!!

Peace