08 June 2015

"Not ready to stop."

When last I wrote, I needed to take nine classes in seven days to meet the challenge of 60 classes in 60 days.

Challenge completed!

Not without some struggle, however.

The first three classes were relatively easy. The room didn't seem to be as hot, and I did well. The mid-week classes were a nightmare. I had the same feelings I did before starting this challenge -- overwhelmed, frustrated, wondering why I was even there. I related this to a friend who snapped me back to rights:

"Enjoy your class. Focus on your breath during yoga. Only on your breath... Allow your yoga practice to be
a moving flowing "meditative" dance focusing on the breath."

Of course. The breath. Simple as that. Once again, I had gotten so caught up in how poorly I was doing and had forgotten the most basic step: breathing.
After that, the final classes of the week were much easier. I didn't make huge leaps in my form or depth, but it was ok -- I was breathing and just letting my body do what it could.
Saturday, May 30 was Day 60. I took the day off so I wouldn't have to stress about getting to class after work. It was a good class for me -- I took it a bit easy but I did quite well (my balance was really good that day). Our visiting instructor, J, informed the assembled of my challenge and everyone applauded. She asked, "How do you feel?"
I was still trying to collect myself and as I tried to catch my breath, everyone giggled a bit.
"I feel better than I did 60 days ago.", I said. 
The next day, there I was, back at the studio. J was teaching again.
"61?", she asked.
"Not ready to stop.", I replied.
I haven't stopped yet. 
You see, for the first thirty days, the idea was: do I have the physical capabilities to go day after day?
The next thirty days, the idea was: am I mentally strong enough to go every day?
The answer is yes to both questions. Yet, I still feel there is more to come. You see, every so often over the last two weeks, I've gotten a glimpse of something in my mind. A glimpse of change. How miniscule or profound that change is, I know not. So, the challenge continues. My stated goal is now 100 classes in 100 days. I think I owe it to myself to find out if these glimpses portend something real and attainable, or if they are mere mirages. That said, I draw the line at 100 days. There can be such a thing as too much yoga.
It might mean nothing.
It might mean everything.

Stay tuned.


1 comment: