10 Things I Love... About Myself

Let's get one thing straight: I don't mind taking someone up on a dare once in a while. Hell, it was basically a dare that got me into Bikram Yoga in the first place. That being said, I have accepted a dare from one of my Twitter friends to write this post.

You see, when asked how I would describe myself, it is usually in a disparaging manner. Something like this:

 Sarcastic. Hates to leave comfort zone. Fears change. Small talent for writing. Yes, hopeless romantic. Afraid to chase dreams.

Upon reading this, one of my Twitter friends dared me to write ten things that I love about myself. I've never been terribly adept at focusing on my better qualities, and for a good while I stared at a notebook page with nothing more than a title, a dedication, and a bit of text that had been scratched out and scrawled over. However, after a time I got one, then another, and then another. I have, as much as possible, resisted the urge to edit or redact anything -- the first time through is the most honest and meaningful. Aside from checking grammar and usage, here is how it went down from my screw loose brain to the paper:

For SR.

Ten Things I Love About Myself

1) My sense of humor: It is very dry and sarcastic at times, but I can generally make you smile, at least.

2) Handshakes/Hugs: High/Low Five, fist bump, handshake, full-on hug. You need one? Come here. I have been told I give good hugs.

3) Cooking: I won't earn a Michelin star anytime soon, but I can feed you pretty well. Celiac or gluten free? I can work my way around that. Like grilled meats? I'm the guy.

4) Baldness: Fought the good fight for a long time but once I took it down to the wood I felt free. I believe I look better without hair. Aside from a small dent or two, it looks good!

5) Step-parent: Although we never married, I have been able to participate in raising two children from the time they were 8-9 years old to the successful people they are today. Proud of that. Even more proud of them.

6) Need something?: My last dollar? My last smoke (back in the day)? Need a secret kept? Someone to talk to? I will do my best to help, at least until I find your motives are insincere. Then, being a Scorpio, the stinger must be put to use...

7) Giving is better: In any facet of life, I've always felt happier when giving than receiving. Getting something is always nice, but giving always feels more meaningful.

8) Singing: I don't have a great voice, but you can often hear me humming or quietly singing a tune. Beatles to The Bravery, Miles Davis to The Arctic Monkeys, I like a lot of different music.

9) I love to write: Used to write a lot from a young age. I remember writing a story in my 5th grade English class about getting a new bicycle and I recall using the phrase "on it's maiden voyage". When asked to read it aloud to the class, I edited myself and said "the first time I rode it". I wanted to avoid getting called a nerd for using such "fancy words". I have been editing myself ever since... 

10) I practice yoga: I don't get there often enough. For now. I'm not as proficient as I would like to be. For now. That said, I love it. It helps me deal with life. It tries to teach me to be a better person. Being a stubborn man, the lessons don't always stick, but I keep going back. One day, the lessons will stick. When that happens, look out!!!

Well, there you are, my friend. Thank you for reading, and thank you for the challenge!!

Namaste.

 

 

Eye of the Beholder

After a 10 day stretch where I was unable  to make it to the studio, I was able to take class this morning. I really didn't want to go... I was so tired last night that I woke up on the couch at 3:30 AM. Then, I could not go back to sleep. Finally at 7:10 I decided to make the 8:00 class. As I drove to the studio, I thought to myself, "This one is really gonna hurt...".

It didn't disappoint. 

Right from the off, it was hard. I couldn't reach my heels or lock my knees in the first set of Hands-to-Feet. I heard and felt several pops in Awkward. I had no sort of balance in Bow or Balancing Stick -- in fact I simply stood during second set of stick as a wave of jealousy and self loathing came over me as I could see the people in front if me do those postures AND do them well. Since it was the first class of the day, the carpet was completely dry, which meant I had no traction and kept sliding out of Triangle as well as the postures before and after. I sat out most of those, staring down at my mat and chewing myself out in my head. Because my right knee is still an issue, even Tree was difficult, and Toestand was out of the question. 

It wasn't all bad. I was able to press back up out of part three of Awkward for the first time since I hurt my knee. Cobra and Full Locust were really strong, and I had the best Floor Bow since resuming practice. All in all, though, I thought the entire class was just not that good. At least, not as good as I've had before. 

So, imagine my shock after class, when the instructor said, "Good work, Mark!! Your postures are really starting to open up. You did so well!". 

I was in a bit of shock. "It felt horrible in there. I have not been here in ten days and I felt like I was in quicksand in there."

She said,"Well, you know it's difficult when you have had a layoff or when you have an issue. But you did really well in there. Have a great day!". 

My mood changed instantly. I let myself decide that it would be rough, so when I started to encounter resistance in my postures, I let it affect my perception of the class as a whole. Another reminder that our minds can fool us into a negative thought pattern when, if we really examine the issue, it's sometimes better than we think it is. 

It really depends on the eye of the beholder. 

Ready for another go tomorrow.

Namaste.