Hello, again!

Nice to be back. It was a long, stressful summer.

In addition to the long, hot days and ceaseless stress at work, I found myself taking Sweetie to ER twice. She is doing much better now, back to her normal, wonderful self. Turns out she developed an allergy to wheat/gluten. We are now much more cognizant of what we buy and eat. We are reading up on the subject, and have gone through lots of gluten free products in an attempt to find things that a) are tasty, and b) don't upset her system. Lots of trial and error, and less than appetizing items. We are having to rethink our way through grocery stores and restaurants. If anyone has ideas, books, or products to try, please leave a comment below.

Of course, there was little chance to practice yoga. However, over the last few weeks, we have talked about returning. Sweetie knows that one of the things I would love to do is learn to teach. She is fully on board with the idea. This means that I need to resurrect my practice. Therefore, I am going to take a Bikram class tomorrow for the first time in almost exactly two years.

I'm mortified.

I'm in almost the same shape as I was when I took my first Bikram class in 2009. Overweight. Smoking (yes, again). Weak in body and mind.

This time, at least, I know what I'm in for. The heat. The sweat. The discomfort.

I guess the thing I'm afraid of most is that I won't find whatever it was that kept me going to yoga in the first place. That I will go, have a horrible class and decide, "Well it was fun but I'm not up for this anymore.Two years of inactivity is just too much to overcome. I want a pizza. And a cigarette."

That scares me. It means that I'm weak. It means that I would prefer to continue to do the things that destroy my body rather than begin the process of healing it again.

I tried to get acclimated today by going to a different studio. Karmany Yoga has been hailed as one of the best in the area, so I gave it a shot. It was not good.

Lovely venue. Instructor (Eric) was very nice. Four other students, all female. One hour class.

I was miserable. It was warm but I didn't break a sweat until halfway through. Strange postures. Inversions. Using the wall for some postures. Using blocks and rolled up mats that you put between your legs or put on the floor under your belly. I spent a lot of those postures either standing around or in Child's Pose. Near the end, we did Cobra and a variation of Locust. Those went well, as did the Warrior/Triangle poses -- but the Triangle we did was a faint version of Bikram's. Overall, I was not impressed. I am not used to using props, and I don't think you need them. Some of the moves were just painful because (in my opinion) we were not warmed up properly.

I just hope tomorrow doesn't go down like that. I know it will be one of the toughest classes I've ever attempted. I just want to once again discover what drew me to yoga in the first place.

Time to continue hydrating. Class is tomorrow at mid-morning.

Wish me luck!