Giving Thanks

It is Thanksgiving Day. A time for family, food, and football.
Here it has been a beautiful, sunny day. Nice and cool.

So, before the turkey knocks me out, a few things I am thankful for:

A job and a home.

Family and friends -- extra special at this time of year. Tomorrow will be the sixth anniversary of my Mom's passing. The holidays will always be a bit darker but time heals.

For all of those who serve the nation, especially those of my friends in the Armed Forces, Thank You!! May you soon be home with your loved ones!!!

While I couldn't make the single class today, I am thankful that, after two weeks of a cold, a respiratory infection, and an asthma attack, I made class the last three nights, and they were great!!

My yoga practice in general: the fact that once again I can practice regularly, the friendships renewed, the new friendships formed, the knowledge that, slowly but surely, I am building a better version of me. I cannot begin to describe what being back in that room means to me.

Quitting smoking: Over ten months now and I have no cravings whatsoever. In fact, the smell of a cigarette is repellent to me!!

Last but certainly not least: YOU!!!  If you read this, Thank You! If you are a Twitter friend, Thank You! If you are a long distance yoga buddy, Thank You! Your energy and support are appreciated!

Hoping the holiday weekend is full of joy... and a yoga class or two...

Much love to all!!!

Meet Me In The Orchard

Meet me in the orchard 

And we'll walk among the trees. 

We can drink in the sun and dance together barefoot until we fall, 

Laughing, to our knees. 

We can sing the song in our hearts, we can lift it to the sky 

Without fear of reprisal

or someone asking, "Why?"

For a while, we can leave behind the anger, disappointment, and pain. 

We can hold each other close, and, for a precious moment, become one once again. 

So meet me in the orchard. 

Please hurry. Time is short. 

For soon I must be leaving you

And set sail for my soul's next port. 

Cored

Recently, my Bikram studio started offering what is called a "Core Class". One of our fantastic instructors is a physiotherapist with 19 years experience. He has put together an hour long routine of sit-ups, lunges, crunches, and yoga poses to help build up the core muscles of your body. The routine differs almost every class to insure proper development of all the core muscles. 

At first I was all-in for this. I mean, what an opportunity, right? This can do nothing but help me, right? 

Right?

I hate it. 

I knew I was weak and unfit, but good God!! While everyone else (and I do mean EVERYONE ELSE) is knocking out set after set, I have collapsed on the floor gasping for air and wishing that my stomach would stop hurting. I am undoubtedly the least able person in there. I get flustered because I'm not the most coordinated and I fall behind the rest of the class. I get embarrassed. I want to leave. I want to run away.

I want to quit. 

Never mind that I felt a lot of improvement from the first class to the second. About halfway through each class I want to leave. And maybe get a cheeseburger. 

It has taught me one thing. 

I have no core. Physical or mental. 

I have no reserve to draw on when life throws more stress at me. I have no source of strength to call upon when the instructor is tacitly trying to coax me off the mat to please attempt at least one set of Triangle. I haven't the strength to tell myself that I really don't need a third cheese danish. Or a fourth. Or a fifth. (This actually happened one morning last week. I actually stuffed eight danishes down my throat. I'm not proud.) I personify weakness. 

Now that I know the full extent of my weakness, I also realize what it will take to repair the damage. It will be a daunting task to say the least. I really don't know if I have the stomach for it (pun intended). It means changing more things than I realized. Carving out more time for classes. Making better food choices (while on a tight budget). Loving myself more. Maybe even learning to get up and eat breakfat so I can avoid the eight-danish fiascos. First and foremost, it simply means developing a backbone. A true and healthy spine. Part of having a strong spine entails... you guessed it... a strong core. 

Of course, I would be doing this on the eve of the two biggest food holidays on the calendar: Thanksgiving and Christmas. 

I'm doomed.