Discomfort

In my quest to find a new place to practice yoga of any kind, I tried a couple of vinyasa classes in the past week at two different studios. They were both listed as vinyasa but could not have been more different.

The first was at a studio I had never visited before in the nearby hospital district. A simple, beautiful space with lots of natural light. Took class from the studio owner. The class is not a hot or heated class but, with cool temps outside, I did notice the thermostat was reading 76 degrees.

This was a 75 minute class. I don't think we stopped for the first 45-50 minutes. It was continuous and the vinyasa "flow" included lots of planks and Downward Dogs. There was music in the background which threw me early on but I adjusted. Chair pose with twists, as well as a lot of stretching and lunges, had me pouring sweat. This actually felt GOOD to me, as the Yin classes I take are cool and quiet. For a brief moment I felt at home, especially when the heat kicked on for a few minutes. Overall, I enjoyed it quite a lot. Felt sore but good. Felt grateful.

Then just a couple nights ago, I tried a Vinyasa class at the studio where I practice Yin. The room was cooler. Darker. Quieter. The class could not have been more different. In this one we held poses longer without so much flow. Also, the poses we did try were harder for me by far. For example: when doing a plank or down dog, we were instructed not to lock the arms out but to bend the arms slightly at the elbows with hands on the floor and elbows pointing to your knees ( that was exceedingly difficult ). I would get behind, fall out, and try to resume. Balance was a difficult thing to maintain, especially in poses where we were balanced on one knee or foot. I never broke a sweat, and once more I was questioning my sanity and my attempts to find a new place to practice. I fell out of poses because my body hurt and I was slow to resume. I didn't feel good about this class.

All of which brings me to... December.

I hate December. I don't need it. Christmas is for couples, lovers, and children. Not me. Work gets more difficult. More business. More shoppers. Far more work. Pressure levels rise. I eat lots of junk, come home, and pass out. One afternoon last week my I got home at 3:00, passed out on the bed at 4:00, and slept straight through until almost 8:00AM. That happens a lot in December and January for me. I've lost the desire to practice yoga. My great new yoga app sits dormant. I'm exhausted. All. The. Time. Hell, I keep fading out while trying to write this... New Years is almost worse, what with resolutions and plans to improve and all that bullshit. I've gone into "survival mode" for the next two weeks. Strange hours. Bad coffee. Lots and lots of sugar. I wake up around 3 most every day. Little or no yoga or exercise of any sort. My body hurts and I cannot find comfort. Usually this feeling dissipates after Dec 25. I'm not sure, this year. I really hurt and my sleep is so screwed up...

That's all for now. Peace and Good Night.