06 February 2012

It's not all bad...

It has been an up and down couple of weeks.

The big Grand Opening for Bikram Fort Worth is this weekend. I will miss the festivities (not just because I'm not yet a member; I have to work anyway). Demonstrations, posture clinics, instructors from other studios, EVERYTHING I want to be a part of. I try not to think about it. I get depressed.

I will get back there.

The home studio idea is also on hold. Unexpected auto repair = $$$. Have yet to get a mirror for the spare room. It may be a bit. I bite my lip, take a breath and try to keep calm. I want to scream. I want to throw something. I want to gaze toward the heavens and ask, "Why?". Even now, I'm starting to shake. I never, EVER thought I would feel this way about yoga, let alone something like Bikram Yoga. I am still open to trying other types of yoga (the Sumits Yoga down the street has yet to open -- I will check it out; I've had no time to visit Karmany Yoga yet). However, I truly believe that I will end up sticking with Bikram.

I will get my practice restarted. I will learn about other forms of yoga.

When I am able to get the Bikram CD, I am also going to buy two three books:

Bikram Yoga -- the orange book

The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living -- by The Dalai Lama

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali: The Book of the Spiritual Man -- by Charles Johnston

I want to better myself. I will tear myself down to the foundations if need be. My current self is no longer palatable or viable. I have much to learn. My happiness is not dependent on others. I must do it myself. I deserve this. 

It will get better.  

If I put in the effort, the results will come.

I want this. I need this.

"Begin, please."

Oh yeah, the title of this post? 

Well, I am proud to report that I have made it to 30 days since my last cigarette!! I need my inhaler less and less now. It feels good. No, it feels GREAT!!

Step by step.....