13 June 2011

Hey, dark side, listen up!!

(Note: For this post to make sense, you need to read the preceding post, "And now, a word from the dark side...)

 Hey there, DS (formerly known as me), I was wondering when you would crawl out of your hole.

Oh, yes, I got your note. Read it several times. 

I've got one thing to tell you.

Go. to. Hell.

Things have changed since the day Sweetie asked me to join her in that room.

A number of things have changed, and for the better.

I am lighter. I am more flexible. I think I am physically stronger. I KNOW I am mentally stronger (perhaps not by much, but it will come).

Yes, it is difficult. Yes, it is torture at times. Yes, it is the most difficult thing I've ever tried. Why?

It works. It is working. It will continue to work if I allow it to.

And I intend to continue, whether you like it or not.

I realize there are days or moments when you will rise up and bitch at me. From time to time, you will win a battle, as you have lately with my diet, and the occasional smoke.

However, listen closely.

I will win the war.

There will be more classes, and you will bend to my will. (Notice that right after your note, I dragged your dead ass right back into the room for two straight days. Notice, also, that those were the two best classes in more than a month. I gave you no chance to flop, to sit out, to run screaming from the room.)

Oh, and don't worry.  There will be more challenges, inside and outside the room. As soon as I can, we are going to attempt a 10-day mini challenge, then maybe a 20 or 30. The full 60 day struggle will have to wait. For now.  As for outside the room, how about facing down a lifelong fear or two. Trying acupuncture? Getting some ink? Perhaps swimming lessons? Maybe taking a trip by airplane? You know we will probably have to fly to go to teacher training.... Relax, that is only a dream... at least for now.

So, enjoy those quick, small victories. Enjoy them while you can. 

Yes, I'm worried. Scared. At times, I am downright terrified of what may happen or where I may end up.

But I'll never be alone, will I? 

You will be right there with me, every step of the way.




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